TRANSFORMERS: DARK OF THE MOON

Strap on your 3-D goggles and brace yourself, because Michael Bay's latest Transformers flick will overload your senses like a bomb going off in your eyes.  Cold War history is audaciously rewritten, Cybertron-style, before present-day humanity's battle against the dastardly Decepticons kicks into gear with the discovery of a powerful, forgotten Autobot, hibernating on the Moon.
  Again, mixed up in the mayhem is Shia LaBeouf's moderately annoying, 'alien bad news magnet' Sam Witwicky. Rosie Huntington-Whitely gamely fills the Megan Fox-shaped vacuum, fulfilling the criteria of looking good while being kidnapped, easily ensuring legions of teenage boys won't fall asleep during the bits where skyscrapers aren't being flattened by colossal robotic snakes.
    Wasting a phenomenal supporting cast (John Malkovich! Frances McDormand!) and with a nonsensical plot and bladder-challenging runtime, ...Moon really should've been a stinker. Thank the Lord, then, for Bay's aptitude for blowing things up sublimely. His camera never sits still, filling scenes with a kinetic sense of urgency, resulting in incendiary, scintillating action adventure on the grandest scale.
  An astonishing crescendo with sky-diving human heroes plummeting into the danger zone is truly exhilarating, while spectacular use of 3-D FX and seat-rumbling sound create effectively hair-raising, skull-crunching robot battles.
  Though overlong and incredibly silly, it is hard to deny that in terms of visceral, cinematic spectacle, ...Moon is a humongous achievement. Fans of dumb, sexy, explosive fun will be pleased to learn that Bay delivers some of the dumbest, sexiest, explode-iest, giant robot fun you can imagine in three dimensions.